Ode to a Stinky Baby

I was surprised to learn that each child we had was different from the last.  After the first, I thought I had learned a few things, and knew roughly what to expect with the second.  I was wrong.  Some things I wish would have worked with the second, others I’ve welcomed the change. 

One such item was that fact that our first fellah had quite the issue with gas.  It would build and build, then explode into a terrible mess.  There are a few stories that would make many of us laugh out loud, but I’ll avoid them for now for the well-being of the easily disgusted.  However, I did write a short Ode that I thought I could share.  Moderately graphic, but all in good fun.  Cheers!

An ode to my first born boy who had a tendency to poop without boundary or remorse…

Your diaper needs changing?

Yes, it seems that it does,

And if you’ll agree with my terms,

I’ll help without fuss.

I’m warning you now,

That in removing said diaper,

The air might be chilly,

Please exert all your effort to control your small willie.

No fountains, no tinkles,

and no streams of pee,

Just acknowledge with a nod,

That you won’t whiz on me.

I’ll change your diaper, but first I must know,

That you won’t launch more yellow out your tiny blow hole.

No poopy projectiles, no mustardy splatter,

If you agree, say “I do”, and we’ll resolve this stinky matter.

No nod?

No “I do”?

You say you’re not in?

That’s okay, I hear a car;

I think Mommy pulled in